By Phyl Newbeck

Loli Berard moved to Vermont in the late 1970’s to attend the University of Vermont, but circumstances conspired to cut her academic career short.

She raised four children while running a manufacturing company, though the urge to return to school was strong. All four of Berard’s kids were in their teens when she told them she was going back to college.

Berard completed her B.A. through the External Degree Program at Johnson State College and then went on to obtain her Master’s in Educational Leadership and Policy Studies at UVM in Dec. 2008. She is now the Interim Assistant Director at the Patricia A. Hannaford Career Center in Middlebury.

Berard thinks her studies helped motivate her children to do better.

“I did all my work at home so they saw me working hard,” she said. “They’d leave for school and see me at my desk and come home and still find me at the desk.”

One problem she encountered was that it was hard to concentrate on reading when her children were home, so she tried to maximize the quiet time she had when they were not around.

Berard said her children weren’t troubled by the need to step in and help. “They’ve had a good work ethic since they were little,” she said. “So it was business as usual. There was no resentment.”

Berard did worry about her kids’ unsupervised, after-school time, and noted that there were times when she was unable to attend games or events and felt badly about it. In addition, she had to cut back on her parent-volunteer work at the school.

“I did what I could, when I could,” she said. “I think it all worked out, but I probably worried about it more than I needed to.”

Tammy Howard is a Coordinator of Academic Affairs at the Rutland site of the Community College of Vermont (CCV), where she sees many students who are returning to the academic world after an absence.

“One of the very critical things we do is qualify why they want to return to college,” Howard said.

After that, Howard said advisors look at logistics, the modeling behavior these returning students will be showing and expectations.

Howard noted that logistics are key. She said it is important to make sure there are supports in place since the parent will be spending more time away from home. She added that it is vital that all members of the family agree with the returning student’s decision since going back to school may mean missing a teenager’s sporting events or recitals, and even parent-teacher conferences.

The plus side to this equation is the behavior the parent is modeling. Many students at CCV do not come from families with strong college traditions so when they see a parent returning to school they begin to see college as a possibility.

“When mom or dad shows they want to do something better with their life, it sends a pretty strong signal throughout the family unit,” Howard said.

Another consideration is the expectations of the returning student. Howard said it is important for parent-students to talk to teachers and administrators, to explain their situation and the fact that they may have to miss classes due to family constraints.

“Adult students need to find an institution with a user friendly culture,” Howard said. “Without dialogue and communication, it can be a difficult situation.”

One of Howard’s success stories is Kristie Pitaniello. Not only did Pitaniello have two teenagers at home when she began her studies at CCV, but both are special needs children who are bi-polar and ADHD.

“Change is very significant to them,” said Pitaniello, who sat her children down and explained the need for her to return to school to better their lives. “When I first went back they had a very hard time with it because I wasn’t able to devote all my free time to them.

“I explained that when I had my door closed it meant I was studying but they kept knocking on the door, expecting me to drop everything. I had to remind them that this was important for us.”

Eventually the kids got used to the restrictions and as a result, Pitaniello graduated from CCV and will continue her studies in the fall, with the goal of studying forensic psychology.

Berard’s advice to parents going back to school is to include children in the decision-making process.

“You need to come together and work collaboratively,” Berard said. “Sit down with your family, talk about it and hear them out. You need a pre-arranged understanding that this could get rocky at times. Be up front and transparent; plan ahead and recognize that there will be some challenges.”

Berard worried that her decision to go back to school was a selfish one. “I felt it was my obligation to raise my children, even though they were becoming more independent,” she said.

Clearly, Berard’s attendance to that primary task paid off. All four of her children have attended college; one has yet to finish his degree, but the other three graduated with degrees in Mechanical Engineering, Creative Writing, and Studio Art.

Pitaniello thinks going back to school was well worth the effort, both for herself and for her children. She made a conscious decision not to return to college when her kids were young, thinking the break would be harder in their formative years.

“I’m glad I made that choice,” she said. “The kids are proud of me.”

Pitaniello often brought her daughter with her to school when she signed up for courses or financial aid.

“Last time we went, she looked right at me,” said Pitaniello “and said ‘I want to go to college.’ We signed her up that day.”

Did you know?

The number of older, non-traditional students enrolling at colleges and universities has been rising steadily over the last two decades, to the point where some schools have established themselves as catering almost exclusively to that demographic. For example, students at Granite State College in Concord, N.H., have an average age of 36, and the school enrolled more than twice as many women (411) as men (117) last year.

Source: Granite State College